WOW Finally an Update!

How many times have I told each and every one of you I would update my blog?! Well...7 months (or more...who's counting) later, and the day has finally come!!! Although my stories may be old, or already heard by you my dear lovely reader, here they are, enjoy!

I wanted to start by saying to everyone I saw while home during the month of June, THANK YOU! Prior to boarding the plane back to the states, I can say I was full only of excitement...the stomach twisting almost fearful kind of excitement. Upon the incredible greeting at the airport (with an obnoxiously large sign:>) and the first sight of several of the most important people in my life, I realized everything was pretty much the same as it always has been. And to me, that is a very good thing. I feel like my stay at home took away a lot of my worries, like "what if I don't feel like I really belong in the US?", or "what if my experience here will make me angry at the way of life and people in the US?" etc etc... all the complicated round about thoughts most of you probably prefer not to read anyways. Seeing the majority of friends and family in my whirlwind US/WI Tour made me only more excited to return home, to the people I can relate to, to a place where I feel motivated to work and be out in the public, and to somewhere where most of my good memories were made. In all honesty, I miss everyone already, and can't wait for about 4 months from now, when I can see everyone, or at least be forcing you all into regular contact with me again!:>) Thank you so much for all the generosity and lovelines and I will see you soon!

And now to start a few stories, bear in mind since I havn't written since early December, these are incredibly old...

I'll begin with the ever-popular animal and insect incidents!
First: I had my first, and I think only, scorpion meeting. At least I think it was a scorpion. It was about three inches long and looked kind of like the insect form of a lobster crawling around on my floor, so I made the assumption. I saw him lurking by my shoe shelves...and didn't know what to do about him. I know nothing about scorpions, except that they sting, but do they also jump, or flip, or execute other equally complex and terrifying moves? To solve this conundrum, I let him be (why a male reference?) and just watched my feet, flipped over my shoes before putting them on, and tucked my mosquito net tightly under my mattress at nightime. In two days time, he had disappeared, and I'm still alive to tell about it, so I guess it worked out for the best!
I also had my first and seriously I hope only up close and personal snake incident (you may of heard this story but it seems to be everyone's favorite). It was laundry day, so the night before I had set my clothes in a pile right in the middle of the floor (I do this so I have to do them...washing jeans and queen sized sheets in a 20 Liter bucket is not the highlight of my life.)
All the next morning, I took things periodically out of the pile, selectively avoiding jeans and sheets, and did my wash. The pile remained in place as I continued to avoid jeans and sheets and opted instead to wash the windows. During which time I walked back and forth past the pile approximately 42.5 times. Upon completion of the 42.5th walk by, I stopped about 3 feet away from the pile and turned to contemplate my plan of jean/sheet attack. Imagine my surprise to see a long black snake staring back at me! He (male again?) was clearly as surpirsed as I was, and he turned and, I can only describe it as ran, into my pile of laundry. At this point I yelled.
Placide, who was out of view of all this in the living room, stifled a laugh and asked me if it was a mouse (my anger and skittishness when mice run at me is not well understood:>) I replied by yelling :NO IT WAS A SNAKE" I didn't hear anything until he was already out of the house screaming for all my neighbors to find sticks. Within a few seconds, I had several neighbors in my living room, with their respective large sticks. My landlady, a daring woman, whipped out her stick and gave my laundry pile several good smacks, at which time the snake bolted out with its head raised up off the ground. He was no match for my landlady though, who with several more direct hits dispatched him for good, and then dragged his body across the living room floor and out the door, leaving a nice trail of blood. Following this, Placide couldn't stop looking around at every noise, and he told me he was never coming to my house again...now I guess he understands how I feel about mice! Typist Dad's Note: From Kate's description of MR SNAKE I think it was a Black Tree Cobra!
And finally... the last night I slept in my bed before heading up to Yaounde to take off for my trip home, I was nearly asleep, with my mosquito net (aka anti-invader protective bedding) all tucked in tightly. Suddenly, I felt a tickle like something was crawling on me, really quick, all the way from my should to knee. Thankfully I sleep with a flashlight under my pillow, just in case such things occur. Sure enough... a big cockroach was by my feet, running all over inbetween my sheets. Guess he(?) just wanted to say goodbye.

And then onto the ridiculous and outrageous things people find it obligatory and often hiralious to say:
Exclamations from passing motto drivers are usually the most out there. One night while walking with Placide behind my house, a random man drove past and just screamed "get her pregnant!!!" it was awkard.
Then another day I was coming back from a morning run and came accross a bunch of my neighbors sitting out by the road, starting the day with a nice glass of alcohol. My landlord looked at me, sweaty and full of mud and said "You should have been a boy"... what does one say in reponse? Thank You?
Another series of incidents happened when I was in Yaounde, walking from one bus depot to another. This specific area of town is known as one of the most intense and when you are white and have a large bag, the situtation is not made any better. In addition to the usual grabbing, pushing, pulling and name calling, one guy stopped dead in his tracks, sized me up and then loudly to his friend, "her body is perfect for having babys". Once again what do you say? Shortly following this, a young guy walking towards me, reached out, said "wow!" and slapped my chest.
Now this clearly requires some action. So I turned around as fast as I could, raised my hand as if to slap him and took a few steps as if to run at him. Clearly, he was not up to defending his actions and he took off running the other way, as everone around him laughed.
And then onto a more depressing and not so laugh-off-able situtation. I hate to have to tell this bad story, without sarcasm, but they're part of life, right? I was at my favorite omelet place one morning. As always the place was packed full, and with only one omelet man, Jackson, working,
service was slow. Also as per usual, one guy came up and sat down next to me and started harassing Jackson to work faster, that he had been waiting forever, taking eggs for himself from behind the counter and putting them in front of Jackson, etc, etc... I started getting extremely irritated by this guy, I was hungry too! Usually, people do this little harassment routine and then sit tight because, I don't know, maybe they see there are at least 5 other people waiting, who got there before them. I decided to politely tell this guy exactly that. I said "excuse me sir, but there are people who have been waiting longer than you"... apparently 1) that was the worst possible thing to say to this man, 2) he was having the worst day of his life and I stepped into it, or 3) he is the most terrible person to ever have walked the earth. I'm gonna go with option 3. He exploded at me like I have never expereinced. Which is saying alot since I have had every type of reaction to my existence, including several explosions of anger and hate...but this one took the cake. He went on and on "who do you think you are white lady", "Why are you even in my country", "You are doing nothing good here, go back to where you came from", "Why would you ever talk to me like that"...etc etc. in the loudest screaming voice, using racial slurs excessively, not allowing me one word in edgewise..so I could say what I wanted to "I am a volunteer, working for your country for 2 years for free, and yes, as a matter of fact I would REALLY like to go home, thanks for the fantastic idea, buy me a plane ticket and I'll be outa here tomorrow!" Also this whole time, he kept turning to several of the men at the omelet booth and asking them for confirmation on his ideas. Several of these men are people I see here many times a week, and Jackson himself I would consider a friend. Not a single person stood up for me. No one told this guy what I was really doing here and to leave me alone. No one said a word. Instead they just laughed and laughed and laughed, kind of nervously, until the guy calmed down and I had a massive tears in my eyes. I have no words to describe this situation now.. it was one of the times I would prefer to forget. I cannot say how angy or hurt I was accurately as someone who came here intending to do good things, and who honestly WOULD rather be back home and not around the anger and hate so often misdirected at me. It also bothers me that when I type this or explain it, it always sounds so nominal. I guess I'll just say I hope that I never ever happens again to me,or anyone. So, there's the bad story of the day... with minimal sarcasm.

Now for some stories around the village, to re-lighten the mood:>: Around Christmas time (wow I feel guilty even writing that, it's so far in the past) the Ebolowa market filled up with lots of imported cheapo plastic toys, "made in china" is the common mark. I noticed a lot of plastic dolls in the style of Barbie, that is to say white and blonde. One day shortly after Christmas Day, when several of the more well off families had given out gifts, I saw a woman I know and her little girl in town, with Barbie-esque doll in tow. The woman called me over and let me know that her little girl upon receiving the doll said first thing "I'm going to name it Kate!" no wonder everyone around her calls me "Poupette" (doll).. thanks to those "made in China", white skinned blonde dolls, being sold in Africa.
The kids around my house have also been as cute as ever. One little boy named Weston walked over onto my back porch one morning.... when I did my usual routine of attempting to look mad and yelling at him to stop looking in my windows, he showed me he was carrying a gigantic knife. I know kids around here, for the most part, can be trusted with sharp objects (machetes, files etc) but for some reason a 3 year old carrying a knife the length of his arm freaked me out a little! Needless to say I grabbed it from him and then carried him and the knife back to his house. His little sister, Lucress, also really loves hanging out on my back porch... she's the only one far too young to know better, so I usually let her(plus she's also too short to peep in my bedroom window anyway). One day I was in the kitchen and I heard her making noise outside the window. The she just started yelling happily "Gate-ah, Gate-ah, Gate-ah" ( which is how most kids pronouce my, obviously difficult first name). It was the first time I have ever heard her say another word besides "Mama"... it pretty much made my day. My name was someone's second word! Now, when she sees me sitting out back, she'll come around the corner with a big smile on her face, arms open, and plop right down on my lap. Last kids story...my 9 year old neighbor Laticia would come over on and off to watch TV or just hang out some nights.
One night we got into our "9 year old and 24 year old hanging out routine", which consists of me asking every question I can think of and then running out of things to ask and putting in a movie.
Anyway, I ended up asking her when her birthday was. She answered with a confused "I don't know", I should ask my mom" . Imagine that ..what 9 year old in the states wouldn't know their birthday and make use of it accordingly to amass as much cake and gifts as possible! Then she told me she had to go to the bathroom. I said OK, assuming she would go to my bathroom... but no, she turned to to outside to the latrine. I assured her it would be OK to use mine and showed her the door. A few seconds later she shyly called me in, and pointing to the shower drain in the floor, asked me if that's where she should go. I told her that she should use the toilet, and then quickly realizing that my house has one of 3 toilets in the village, asking if she knew how. Happy to report, she figured it out. Guess it's all what you're used to!

Stay tuned for the next blog edition, including more really old stories about work and travel!