Short Personal Anecdotes

Conversations with my landlady always take an interesting turn. That may be an understatement. The other day she came over to "chat with me", which usually ends in her demanding money for rent, water, or power for several months in advance because she needs it to 1) send someone to school 2) buy a rabbit cage 3) fix her husbands motto etc… The most recent conversation took place after she had been out in her village with my landlord and Billy and his wife, to solve the village problems with sorcerers. After a brief explanation of the ways one sorcerer was ruining everyone's lives, we went into depth on the topic of "what is sorcery?" According to my landlady there is a very big difference between white people and black people sorcery, although both types are only performed by godless heathens. Black people use their supernatural powers to hurt other people: kill unborn babies, give people malaria and AIDS, etc… White godless heathens use theirs to do things like build those crazy vehicles that can fly across oceans we call airplanes, and create that insane technology which allows us to speak into a receiver and be heard across the world we call the telephone.

My homestay brother is still in love with me. He was on a streak of calling every night, and occasionally every morning around 3 AM for over a month. I was in the habit of silencing every call or answering and pretending I couldn't hear him. (You may think this sounds mean, but TRUST ME it becomes necessary) Suddenly he stopped. I breathed a sigh of relief. The next day he tricked me into picking up my phone by calling from my homestay sister's number. He berated me for never answer his phone calls. I used my newfound Cameroonian ability to lie through my teeth, and told him some very detailed circular story about how I lost my phone, didn't know his number, etc… He then asked me to marry him. I didn't understand the word he used, so as usual (when I don't understand) I respond "oui". He got really excited, his voice raised a couple of pitches and he asked "REALLY?! You want become engaged with me?!". I think I may have responded "oh crap". I then shot him down in not such a nice, or eloquent, fashion, and quite possibly broke his heart. Sorry Paulin.

My bike training was going well for a while. My bike fell into disrepair about a year ago, when my postmate's door fell on it (common problem, I know). I decided to keep using it, and just wearing myself out not being able to switch gears in going up hills. Eventually this made me angry enough and I took out my tool kit in attempt to repair it myself. The gear system on a bike scared me. I read about it in detail and then attacked it with my wrench. I was so incredibly proud of myself when I hung my bike from the back of a chair and it switched from highest to lowest gear smoothly and quickly. Then, without warning as I downshifted something got stuck, I couldn't figure it out, and now…my bike doesn't switch gears at all. Great. :>( I then started using my postmate's bike…which has a set of problems less advanced than mine. I enjoyed biking initially, I thought that if I were going faster people would have a harder time seeing me coming, have less time to think of evil things to say to me, and also be unable to touch me…seeing as how I would speed by at 12 mph instead of walking at 4. I didn't think about however how much of a spectacle a bike becomes…and the fact that going that much faster forces me to pass just that many more people. Interesting things have happened. My favorite story happened as I was making my way up the enormous hill at the entrance to Ebolowa. Two teenage boys started yelling things about how tired I looked and how hard of a time the white girl must be having. I commented back I'd like to see them try it…and one came over to me and started running behind my bike with his hands on my seat and pushed me all the way up the hill! I thanked him and went on my way. My not so favorite story happened as I passed through one village which has afterwards become my most hated part of the trip. Everyone in this village seemed to be on the road this one Saturday, and the majority of people yelled mean spirited things at me, or laughed at me, or just called me the usual white people names. I was getting really angry, as that frequency of "harassment" tends to make me. I passed a group of 3 guys on the way to the fields, and one thought it would be hilarious if he swung his machete along the ground right in front of my front tire like he was going to take me out, then tell me to go bike in my own country, then laugh evilly with his buddies. Oooooo I got steamed. I didn't stop though, but continued on thinking of all the comebacks and things I should have said back. Some people!

The neighbor kids will always be my best friends. My favorite 2 neighbor girls are back in village for school, and along with them come the little boquets of flowers every couple of days, or the completely unripe tiny fruits they pick off the trees, or any other number of interesting objects they find in the road. One day Laticia came running out to great me with an armless, legless Barbie doll, with the blond hair missing in patches all over the scalp yelling « Kate, Kate, this looks JUST like you ! »...well...thanks Laticia, I'm just another appendageless torso with a pretty face ! Within the first 2 months at my house I had told Laticia and Michelle that if they happened to find a four leaf clover, they would in fact have good luck for the rest of their lives. They searched and searched, and came up to me more than once with a 3 leaf clover, with one of the leaves ripped in half. Sadly, I was unfooled, as I'd tried the same thing more than once as an 8 year old too. I'd thought they'd pretty much given up or forgotten until much to my surprise, a few weeks ago Laticia showed up at my door about as over joyed as can be and presented me with a real, live, 4 leaf clover ! Crazy how close that brought me to tears how she'd remembered that this whole time ! Another similar incident happened with this 6 year old kid named Arnold who was always stopping by « Kate, give me a car. Kate, give me a bike » who I would respond to with the « no, YOU give ME a car ». I'd mentioned this story to my parents who had brought him a little toy car when they came to visit, but then Arnold was away in his mother's village for the summertime and I hadn't gotten a chance to give it to him. He came back one day and was SO excited to see me, I was kinda amazed he liked me that much even without the car... He came up to the door telling me he had something for me and I needed to come get it right away. I told him to bring it back to me, and sure enough...he shows up with a tiny blue plastic car ! It was another one of those moments where I was amazed how this kid had remembered and thought of me... not only did he bring me the blue plastic car, but he also returned with a headless Buggs Bunny figurine...quite the gifter eh !? I'm a lucky woman. And the last neighbor kid story for now...one a little more sad, is about Dorien, the 4 year old brother of Laticia and Michelle, whose family always teases him that he will marry me. Dorien and I get along fabulously, and I'm sure I've mentioned him before. He's always hanging around my porch and in general just being the cutest kid I've ever seen. Lately he's been coming over more and more during the day to draw and color. One day I was pressed for time (this doesn't happen ever, I feel really awkward even saying it) and he kept knocking and knocking and I used my « firm adult tone » to tell him to chill out a second and come back later, and he quietly says « but Kate, I want to come over because I'm all alone at my house »... and sure enough, the entire family had left him there alone...which pretty much broke my heart. He's come over a few times before in a really rotten mood, and I've tried to cheer him up with the usual, no fail coloring book or bouncy ball, and he won't have it... when I'll ask him why not, and what he wants, he'll just say he's hungry and wants to eat some food...break my heart again. This most recent time I asked why he wasn't in school this year, like last, and he said that he didn't have any clothes to go in ! I feel so bad about this boy...but it's one of those situations where I really want to help but absolutely cannot put myself in the role of benefactor for the entire village (which it would quickly become)...just really sad to have to see him suffer because of it ! I'll just keep supplying him with my leftovers and coloring on the front porch. I think I might try to start teaching him to read and write as well ! Not too young is it ?!

The neighbors of others can be slightly less sweet…take for example my postmate's recent experience : So, I myself have entertained the idea once or twice of getting myself a dog, something to keep me company and give me a reason to leave my house and go for a brief walk everyday. It's funny though how one's perception of pets changes when you are in a country where people actually feed and clothe themselves before Fido and will kick Snowball for the slightest indescretion…I decided I wouldn't be a loyal enough pet owner here in Cameroon and my dog would end up flea covered and fight scarred like everyother. My postmate, having a softer heart than my own apparently, decided to adopt the cat of the volunteer who was leaving right as she came in. Luna was a sweet enough cat, as cats go in my opinion…she left me alone :>) Luna had her own door into my postmate's house : a hole thru the window screen, so she could come and go as she pleased : fraternize with the hardcore African cats and all. A month ago my postmate ended up being away for about a week. It had never before been a problem for Luna, who would feed herself with an unlucky lizard, frog or mouse when the mood struck. Sadly, Rachel came back one day to find no sign of Luna…a few days passed and worry grew to suspicion. Rachel began to ask around. Eventually as she asked her neighbor, « Have you seen Luna ? » she received the information, « oh yeah, that fat white cat ?! The family down the road ate it. » Lesson learned : don't get too attached to your pets.

Spider stories I haven't yet shared !!! The spiders that decided to commit these acts were of course all the bigger creepier oncs...or maybe it just seemed that way. And sidenote...I'm not even afraid of spiders...but their invasions into my personal space in the following incidents were unacceptable. 1) I got back from a run one morning and sat myself down on my floormat to do some stretches. Along came a spider, unbeknownst to me, until of course I felt a tickling travel up my inner thigh and disappear into my shorts. Fantastic. I jumped like I can't even explain and ripped off my shorts and flung them at the wall...problem solved ! 2) I decided to go and read in bed for a bit one day. My pillow had been in the living room (on the floormat), so I brought it with me. Apparently nothing should ever be on the floormat. I put my arm up to rest my head on my hand and I catch the sight of something out of the corner of my eye. Sure enough, big silverdollar sized spider perched on the back of my hand ! Once again, some sort of flinging action took place, and he was outta there ! He was like 6 inches from my eye. I can say with 100 percent certainty, he was not pretty 3) I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I was clearly a little out of it and not in spider avoidance mode (it's really a state of being). I lifted up the toilet seat cover, sat down, and felt the familiar (due to the shorts incident) tickling sensation as a spider made it's way down my back, then my leg, until I could finally reach it, initiate flinging sequence and rid my body of it. Now you see why I feel so violated ?! Creepers, figuratively and literally.

On the animal/insect subject, my favorite, I had a pet frog for about a week. I named him Munich. He lived in my bathroom. He was very small and rather attractive as far as frogs come. He kept moving around and would be the most exciting part of my morning, figuring out where he had gone to. One morning I found him on the shower handle, one morning on the back of the toilet, once just chilling on the side of my shampoo bottle, once on the door frame, and then once a crash woke me up in the middle of the night...I got up to investigate, and sure enough...there he was, sitting next to my plastic vase of flowers he'd apparently decided to leap at and spill all over the floor. The next day Kim came over and tried to capture him in her hands...he was never seen again. I still blame her for his disappearance.

Continuing on with frogs... I've started dating a guy in Ebolowa (weird way to introduce this news...sorry...more interesting though right ?!)...and I find it very entertaining the things and the way people say those things to their « significant otther » For example, in Cameroon it is always ok to tell someone they've gotten fat, or that the food they made tasted like crap...we all know how this goes over in the states, and I've had to explain more than once that I was raised in a place (where maybe even to our detriment) we learned « if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything it all »...thanks Bambi. So the other day this significant other of mine touched my cheek and told me « your face is very smooth, it feels exactly like a frog ». hmmm....thank you ?!?

I've seen some monkeys !!!! I saw one while I took a water break while biking, running down the trunk of a tree. Then the other day I went out to a new farm with Serges and was immersed in a monkey party...there were at least 10 little onces jumping and swinging around the trees right infront of me. That was pretty cool. Also, on my recent trip to the North of Cameroon I got the chance to hear and see, right along the road, several baboons ! So...FINALLY after living next to the rain forest all this time I saw some monkeys in the trees and not just in a cooking pot.

I'll talk about my work a little bit... Biggest thing that needs to be mentioned before any of this...something that's been really hard for me to get my head around in recent weeks, is that Kim (you all should recognize this name by now...pretty much my other half for the past year...workwise, mental healthwise, funwise, everythingwise) has decided to leave her post and move up to the Northwest. Selfishly, I'm very very sad that she's not going to be down here anymore. I have a LOT to figure out and change, since to be honest, almost every project I had going on was with her ! Unselfishly, I am glad that she's going to go somewhere where people actually do work and aren't evil to white girls ! :>) She will almost definitely be happier up there due to all of that ! Thus, once again, selfishly, I am jealous and want to go myself ! :>) So...since that news we've been in the process of trying to reorganize our bike tour, a lot has to change due to her village no longer being on our route, etc... I've been doing some running around to various ministries and schools delivering protocol letters about the event and asking them for support, etc, etc. Kim and I had started visiting the 2 schools we were going to give environmental education classes to for the upcoming months, and so now I'm going to be doing the actual lessons alone...which actually terrifies me. I am afraid of youth in large numbers...especially since each class is around 80 kids ! We had to nix the school in Kim's town, so now I'll just be doing 2 primary schools in Ebolowa. I'm very excited for one school, the director and the teacher I'll be working with have been the most active of anyone I've worked with here so far (besides Serges and Hans) and it's made me remember what it feels like to be excited about a project because it might actually succeed ! I'm continuing my soy work. Kim and I made a pretty darn good soy brochure, I'll use it now to hand out at formations and the informational table at the market I want to do in the spring. We attended a cultural fest put on by my friend Seth in the Northwest (thanks to everyone that donated) and had a soy table there also. I'll talk more about the cultural fest in the next blog entry. I also just attended, and kinda helped, with a soy day the other Agrofoestry volunteer in the South put on this past weekend. She did a lot of work with getting women there to cook a lot of different foods and present on nutrition, planting, etc... Aside from that, we had our Provincal Meeting in the beginning of October and as usual, it was nice to see the few volunteers in my province and share ideas and work stories. Sadly, since that time, Kim as well as Christine, a volunteer in the town of Lolodorf, have decided to leave the province. We' re down to 5 of us, by far the fewest of all 10 provinces in Cameroon...it's sad :>( The south is a tricky and interesting place. Lastly, at the end of September I celebrated my one year anniversary with Cameroon with a group of volunteers at the beach...always wonderful !

SO....those are my short personal anecdotes that are much too personal and not really short! :>) I will be writting within a week to finish up summarizing the past few months with stories of the travels that I've done lately... didn't want to wear you out by making it an all-in-one thing...suspense !